One last attempt. Final words on the situation thinly veiled in disappointment ran through my head. Fortunately they stayed there.
I had been tempted to type them and hit “send,” but good sense and grace kept me. “Kept” as in both prevented and preserved.
An event was in the final planning stages. There had been a query as to my interest in joining the speaker lineup. My positive response and attempts for clarification and more information had gone unanswered. Days went by and weeks passed. The event date was near. Nothing.
Oh well. What can you do?
What I didn’t want to do was spend one more moment wondering why I had received no further word. What I didn’t want to do was harbor negative feelings.
In discussing with a family member my disappointment over the lack of communication, she put her finger on the exact emotion I was feeling.
Somehow identifying my primary emotion helped take away the sting as well as “unstick” me from dwelling on it.
Now I could let it go and move on.
I would no longer hold that date on my calendar. Nor would I consider potential subject matter for the event. I was free. Free to plan my “next” and free from anxiety over the “last,” albeit the “last” that never happened.
Until my primary emotion over the situation was identified, I felt stuck in my disappointment. As soon as it was pinpointed, I felt validated. I was right to feel as I did. However, I had no desire to hold any negative feelings or hold anyone else responsible for my peace. I was ready to turn the page and move on. Move forward with my integrity intact and grace fully extended.
What I learned from this recent occurrence may help you the next time you are faced with a situation gone “south.”
- Identify the primary emotion keeping you stuck.
- Validate that your feelings are legitimate.
- Release others from the responsibility for your peace.
- Move On.
At some point we all face rejection, being overlooked, inconsiderate behavior, and even being disrespected. Don’t waste too much time on the negative emotions you are bound to feel when it happens. Shake it off like dirt on a welcome mat; hose it off like you do when you’ve stepped in poo. Straighten your skirt, slick on some lip gloss and just keep on doing what you do with integrity and grace.
Men, you’re welcome to skip the skirt and gloss part. Just be sure and “shine your shoes and straighten your tie” as you move on.
© 2012 Melanie Dorsey
Are you facing a situation in which the approach above would help you “move on” with integrity and grace?