(Catchy title, huh? I couldn’t think of anything that fit.)
It’s much easier to write when I feel inspired with a specific word to share. And it’s much harder when there are a myriad of thoughts flaring - a game of flash light tag all up in my head.
If you and I could sit shoulder to shoulder on the sandy beach near my home and watch the rolling waves…
If you and I could run or walk together in my favorite park where the alligators, Cooters and Roseate Spoonbills thrive…
If you and I could have shared a lunch table and hot chili sauce at “Taco Tuesday” today…
You and I could share the words in our heads and feelings of our hearts.
But you are wherever you are and I am here – in a room at the back of my house. There are windows all around and I can see the birds and those pesky squirrels elbowing one another at the bird feeder. It’s hot but not sunny and the man on the TV called for rain today.
I sit on a little couch with a little dog lying on the cushion next to me.
And just so you know this scene is not quite so idyllic, the little dog stinks a little bit due to a skin infection that has hung on all summer. Yep. All summer and through three rounds of Clavamox.
I sit on this little couch, hands on my keyboard even though I need to put a chicken in the oven, my bed is unmade and there are a few more dishes to load before I push “start” on the Whirlpool.
But I feel like talking to you and, to use that overused phrase, share my heart. You know how when friends get together and the conversation jumps from one topic to another? Unfinished sentences are discarded and it’s on to something else. Later on when you’re on your own again, you realize how many thoughts were not completed and how neither of you finished some of your stories. That might be how this is but for lack of writing inspiration yet the need to tap out a few words and make a little space in my head and heart, I thought I’d “share.”
I’ve grown a bit weary. I deactivated my account for the weekend and considered deleting it altogether. Sometimes it feels like my house does when there’s clutter on every flat surface. I was overwhelmed with the piles of paper, books and kicked off shoes left lying wherever in my “head” house where if feels like facebook lives. I’ve since reactivated it but you won’t find me there like before.
Getting older
I’m sensing an inner shift regarding my aging. If I am to get wrinklier, saggier and grayer then I want something in trade. I pray that I as I grow older I’ll grow in maturity. And please, God, a greater degree of boldness. And I’ll take a side of wisdom to go along with that, please. Upsize and Biggie that, too.
Let me entertain you
About a fortnight ago (I’ve always wanted to throw that word into a conversation.) I heard a question in my “spirit,” “heart,” “mind” – whatever you will call it and I heeded the query.
“What are you letting entertain you?”
I considered some of my sloppy television viewing habits and although I don’t want to get all legalistic up in here, I’ve made some changes. When you feel the Holy Spirit ask a question, it’s always going to be a “leading” one. The Spirit will lead you away from a thing for the purpose of leading you to something else. Obey and trust the process.
So, how about you? What’s your news? What’s on your mind and in your heart lately?
© 2012 Melanie Dorsey
