The first was with a 16 year old girl, a student of mine, who brought over a book to my desk after class. It was a book about how having s*x outside of marriage has devastating consequences.
We talked about how some girls know it is wrong or at least have been told it is wrong but haven’t necessarily been told why. She told me that prior to reading the book, she understood that the consequences were 1)pregnancy and 2)std’s.
But then she found the passage in the book that spoke more to her than the first two reasons. She said the authors explained how s*x outside of marriage actually changes the brain chemistry.
I added that even if the couple who had s*x before marriage then went on to marry one another, that there was still damage done and consequences to deal with. I concluded with how the wisdom of God is for our protection ~ both spiritual and physical.
We continued to talk and I encouraged her to read the book carefully and learn from it so that she could, hopefully, influence other teens with this message of truth.
I heard a lie this week about this very subject. On a noontime show, there was a segment with two women. One was a well-spoken and strong supporter of abstinence. The other was touting her book about the “outdated and dangerous notions of virginity.” It was obvious to me that this articulate young woman had fallen prey to the EVE TRAP ~ trading the truth for a lie.
The second conversation was with another teenager who says she obsesses with “body issues.” Perhaps a distorted body image? I related some of my struggles with body issues. Do we all have those? I would venture to say we have all dealt with them at one time or another.
I am all for being the best version of myself I can be but in a healthy pursuit not an obsessed one. Recently I posted about losing 22 pounds. I lost 16 over a 4 month period last year and the rest in the past 3 months. I do feel better and I think I look better. It’s definitely easier to get dressed because, for the most part, it becomes a non-issue.
But what makes a young woman believe she is “less than” if she is not her “ideal self” physically? For that matter what makes a 40ish woman feel the same way?
I submit that some of us have fallen into the Eve Trap. We believe a lie. We see someone whom we think has it all together, especially physically, and we believe we compare unfavorably. Why? Is it the media and airbrushed photography that is to blame? Is it the voice of the past that teased us about braces, acne, glasses, height, or a big bu++?
Why do we choose to take to heart the negative comments over the positive ones? If we’re told we’re pretty, or smart or talented, why do we hesitate to believe those comments?
A couple of years ago in a Bible study group I was co-teaching, an Italian woman shared how her family never told her she was pretty for fear of the “malocchio.” The “malocchio” or “evil eye” was said to be caused by the bad thoughts of other people ~ especially envy. She explained that in her Italian culture, her family didn’t tell her she was pretty and dressed her in the plainest of clothing lest someone envy her “prettiness” and cast upon her the curse of the “malocchio.”
While it seems her family was trying to protect her from the evil eye, they inflicted another evil. This lovely woman never believed she was beautiful! Never believed she was cute or pretty or good-looking or attractive.
So what about the Eve Trap? Eve’s enemy, our enemy, wanted to destroy humankind. Wanted to put man & woman under a curse of death and destruction.
The Creator spoke truth to Adam & Eve. Eve discounted truth to believe a lie. I believe we do the same today. We discount the truth and believe the lie.
And the truth is, the father of lies is the accursed. We are the blessed. We are the beautiful. We are daughters of Truth. Let’s believe it. Let’s speak it. Let’s model it for our sisters of all ages.
So if you find yourself tempted to believe a lie, I’m asking you to take a 4 day challenge. Everytime you think a negative thought about yourself or someone else for that matter, say aloud, if possible, “I reject that thought.” Then counteract the negative thought with a positive and truthful statement. Do it for 4 consecutive days. Again, if you are able to speak the truth aloud, do it. There is power in speaking out. Even if you are the only one who hears it. Maybe especially if you are the only one who hears it.
If this resonates with you, let me hear about it. I have it on my heart to speak about these heart issues in the Life & Style By God’s Design conferences. Go here to read the session description of Guard Your Heart.